Here are some suggested books, authors, and photos/illustrations of the concepts discussed in THE ADDICT’S GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE.
Love Is Everywhere… Love Is a Garden
“Welcome to the Fourth Dimension”
The amazing heart-shaped Catalpa tree leaves in my neighborhood.
Photo by Emily Sussman
“You Can’t Hide From What’s Inside of You”
Garden in late spring outside St. Monica’s Church, Mishawaka, Indiana.
Photo by Emily Sussman
I heart stickers… and I especially heart heart stickers.
Illustration by Emily Sussman
“Trust the Process”
The famous parrot tulip picture.
Photo by Len Sussman
“Pick a Date, Any Date”
Illustration by Emily Sussman
Chapter 54, “Love Is a Holiday”
Sorry, you guys, I don’t have any recommended reading for this chapter… just an old photo of yours truly and my BFF Ed living it up at Tiswas in 2001. (Courtesy of the Tiswas memorial website)
Chapter 53, “Love Is Taking Care”
Again: Love Is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.
Chapter 52, “Love Is Surrender”
Recommended reading: The Power of Surrender: Let Go and Energize Your Relationships, Success, and Well Being by Judith Orloff, M.D.
Chapter 49, “Love Is a Choice”
Recommended reading: Love Is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.
Chapter 48, “Letting Go”
Recommended reading: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency by Melody Beattie (daily app available on Google Play or Apple)
Chapter 47, “Don’t Go It Alone”
Recommended reading: Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions by Russell Brand
Chapter 46, “Charity Begins at Home”
Recommended reading: 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10 by Allen Berger, Ph.D.
Chapter 45, “Don’t Be a Victim”
Recommended reading: The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependency by Melodie Beattie.
Unf**k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Gary John Bishop.
Chapter 44, “Put Yourself Out There”
Recommended reading: Relationships 101 by John C. Maxwell (includes “A Short Guide to Relationship Success”)
“Submissive Listening, Therapeutic Listening, and the Third Ear” by Kristi Pikiewicz
Chapter 43, “Problem Solving”
Download Emily’s Feelings List!
Recommended reading: 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and the Drugs Are Gone: Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action by Allen Berger, Ph.D.
“Using Words for Different Feelings” by Sheri Stritof
Chapter 42, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
Recommended reading: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
The Gottman Institute: A Research-Based Approach to Relationships (website)
Chapter 41, “Expectations”
Recommended reading: “How Expectations Undermine Our Relationships and Happiness” by Jen Piccici
“The Psychology of Expectations” by John A. Johnson, Ph.D.
Chapter 40, “Boundaries”
Recommended reading: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. (Please note that this book is written from a Christian perspective, but there is still lots of great information, even if you want to skip all the Biblical parts.)
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine, M.A.
Chapter 39, “Commitment”
Recommended reading: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living and Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (audiobook via YouTube)
Chapter 38, “Fear of Intimacy”
Recommended reading: Don’t Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Fear of Intimacy by Robert W. Firestone and Joyce Catlett
Chapter 37, “What Is Love, Anyway?”
Recommended reading: The Reasons of Love by Harry Frankfurt
Why Am I Afraid to Love? Overcoming Rejection and Indifference by John Powell
Chapter 36, “Emotional Sobriety”
Recommended reading: 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone: Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action by Allen Berger, Ph.D.
The Language of the Heart: Bill W.’s Grapevine Readings (his letter on emotional sobriety can be found here).
Chapter 35, “Express Yourself”
Recommended reading: The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, by Julia Cameron
Chapter 34, “Don’t Be a Drama Queen”
Recommended reading: “Chaos Addicts, Drama Queens, and Toxic People… Oh My!” by Natalie Bybee
Chapter 33, “Empathy”
Recommended reading: The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life, by Piero Ferrucci
Chapter 32, “Grief”
Recommended reading: “When Grief Gets Physical” by Marilyn Mendoza, PhD.
Chapter 31, “Anxiety”
Recommended reading: Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins, M.D., PhD.; Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of Events in Our Lives by Mira Kirshenbaum
Chapter 30, “Anger”
Recommended reading: Beyond Anger: A Guide For Men, by Thomas J. Harbin, PhD.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, by Harriet Lerner, PhD.
Chapter 29, “The Triangle of Self-Obsession”
Recommended reading: “The Triangle of Self-Obsession,” from Narcotics Anonymous literature. You can also check out this video that explains the Triangle.
Chapter 28, “Instinct vs. Intuition”
Recommended reading: Bestselling author Melody Beattie on the power of intuition, and how to access it within yourself.
Chapter 27, “Name That Feeling”
Download the Feelings List here.
Recommended reading: Dr. Dan Siegel on mindfulness and the mind-body-brain connection.
Chapter 26, “The Man Box”
Recommended reading: Paul Kivel, writer, social justice activist, and originator of the “man box” concept.